In Limbo

So, my freezer is full of home cooked meals, the baby clothes are all washed and put away, the home birth kit is ready to go… My due date is fast approaching and there is nothing left to do but wait.  I feel like I’m in a strange kind of limbo land, 40 weeks of pregnancy is nearly up but there have been no signs that baby wants to leave her comfy home just yet.  I’ve done all the jobs I wanted to do, and for the first time in my adult life I don’t have a to-do list.  It’s freeing but also a little unsettling, I am a person who likes to Get Things Done and I’m not very good at sitting around.  I have one project left to finish, which is the baby blanket I have been crocheting for the past 6 months or so (it’s my first ever crochet project), I’m almost scared to finish it because then what will I do with myself!

I also feel heavy with the weight of everyone else’s expectations.  When we go to playgroup or preschool, or even answer my phone, other people seem a little disappointed.  They are excited too so they are hoping I won’t be there because I am in labour!  My first was induced at 40+10 after my waters broke, so I was expecting to be late with this one as well, but it’s much harder this time because I can’t just hide from the world at home watching movies and reading or taking naps (oh how I miss naps right now!).  Personally I don’t consider the baby to be truly overdue until 42 weeks, so until then I’m just waiting for her to decide she’s ready.  What I will do if I’m still pregnant at 42 weeks I don’t know, hopefully I won’t have to find out!

I was getting a bit fed up and grumpy until I found that someone else has given the last few days (or weeks) of pregnancy a name: Zwischen, which is German for ‘between’.  Just reading that other people feel like this at this time has made me feel so much better, and made it easier to accept.  I definitely feel like I am not quite in this world at the moment, not quite one thing or the other, just waiting…and waiting.

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2 thoughts on “In Limbo

  1. The last few weeks always suck! Can you take your older out for a special date? Find something really fun to do and take lots of pictures with just the two of you.

    • I’ve been trying to do just that the past couple of months – but I’ve now hit a wall of extreme fatigue where it’s just a case of getting through the day and then crashing out once she is in bed. We are doing things as a family at the weekend though – last weekend we had a trip to the seaside, it was chilly but great fun.

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